Something to do

Good news update

2008-08-09T15:40:00.000-07:00

Sorry it has been a while but here is the latest. Ben's hole that would require an operation is no longer there according to Alderhey hospital. There is a hole there but it is an ordinary one which will heal itself. The Primum hole that was supposed to be there was not on display on the scan. We have to take him back in April to make sure but it now looks as though an operation will not be necessary. We shall keep our fingers crossed. Trying to fit things in around him is proving very difficult which is why I haven't updated the blog for a while. He is gurgling away quite happily now and getting used to his voice. This makes him unbearably cute at times and even more huggable which also uses up valuable time but it is well worth it.
I am getting more tired and confused as each week passes. I have just sent a 40th birthday card to a friend at completely the wrong address so I will have to re-send another one. When I get the bus to work, I keep taking the car keys with me which impresses the hell out of Gill and defeats the whole purpose of taking the bus...so that she can have the car! I will get it right eventually. It's only taken me 40 years to get this far.

We're off to Alder Hey

2008-06-21T03:10:00.000-07:00

We have now had a date to take Ben to see a Paediatric cardiologist. This monday at 5:00pm in the afternoon, which at least gives us plenty of time to get there. They said to allow approximately 2 hours for tests so it will be a long day by the looks of it. Ben is doing well and weighs in at a hefty 10lbs 13oz which doesn't seem like a lot unless you are bouncing him on your knee for half an hour trying to get his wind up! No need to go to a gym for a workout anymore. I can feel my shoulder muscles developing already.

So, hopefully by the end of our session in Liverpool we will have a bit more information about the seriousness of Ben's heart condition and what they intend to do about it and when. I do know that they don't do open heart surgery anymore unless it's necessary. They stick a line up through the groin and plug any holes from the inside so ther is less mess and quicker recovery. I have enough of a job threading a needle without losing me temper so these guys must be incredibly patient to find a pathway up through the body like they do. I bet they'd be good at unblocking drains as well! Weekend working for Dyno-rod perhaps?

Moved at last

2008-06-04T14:38:00.000-07:00

I am now typing from sunny Wales! Yes the move was succesful and fairly uneventful and I have started my new job at the pathology lab in Bangor. Quite a lot of the old faces from 12 years ago when I was there last and they all seemed quite pleased to see me. They don't seem to have changed though I know I have since the last time I was there. Now I have to learn all about the lab again as things have certainly changed which I expected. The house I am renting is nice and adequate for our needs. It is in a quiet spot. Ben is doing okay and is now weighing in at 9lb 11oz and is the cutest baby that the health visitor has on her rounds at the moment according to her. He doesn't like sleeping during the day at the moment which is a bit of a nightmare for Gill but he seems to be sleeping well enough at night. Still waiting for Alder Hey hospital to get in touch but they have already said that any time I need off to go to the hospital with Ben is not a problem, which is a far cry from the old job I can tell you. Getting back into the swing of speaking welsh again too. And it's funny to think that I am on half the money I used to be on but I am a lot happier. Don't tell Gordon Brown!!

Cutest boy ever.

2008-05-20T14:08:00.001-07:00

Aaahh, look at him. He is eighteen days old now and doing very well really. He has had a bit of a cold which has cleared up mostly which prompted us to take him to the doctors a couple of times. On the last visit, the doctor sent us to the child assessment unit at the Blackpool Vic as he detected a heart murmur. At the Vic, he was given a chest x-ray which showed a problem and he was kept in overnight for observation and to speed up the heart scan as we are moving. The heart scan revealed a hole in his little heart. An Atrial Septal Defect (ASD). Holes in the heart come in two forms; one which generally heals itself and one which generally doesn't. Ben has the one that doesn't. There is no immediate danger. It will start to affect him as he gets older. Now he will be looked after by a paediatric cardiologist at Alder Hey Hospital and they will monitor him and decide when an operation will be performed and we will have to take it from there. If it hadn't have been for him having a cold and a shit hot chinese doctor spotting the murmur then we would never have known until our little boy became ill. At least now they will be able to do their best for him before it gets too late. Apart from that, he is just about perfect, but I have no doubt that every father thinks that about their child. Tomorrow we begin the move to Wales and then he can settle into a routine of being loved and spoilt rotten.

He's Here!

2008-05-02T14:59:00.001-07:00

This is Ben and he was born today at 11:43 and weighed in at a decent 8lb 7oz. As the anaethsetist said, "He's ready for school!" Both mother and baby seem to be doing well. It has been a long day but well worth it. We have a busy month ahead of us now as we are moving back to Wales, so there will be a certain amount of upheaval for the little lad before he can settle down to a life of spoilt bliss. It's very odd becoming a father and Gill has done me proud. I don't know if we will have another one so I will do my best not to break this one.

Close Call

2008-04-08T14:49:00.000-07:00

Ben was very nearly here yesterday. Gill went to the hospital for monitoring and they weren't too happy with the results of the first 2 sessions and decided that they would cut him out and send him to special care. However, they put her on a monitor in the delivery ward and got a much better trace so they decided not to. Gill went to her scheduled appointment with the consultant today and he said that Ben showed signs of stress yesterday. They will keep an eye on him but may deliver him possibly next week. They will try and keep him in Gill as long as possible as his lungs haven't quite completed developement but they are still confident that there shouldn't be too much of a problem if they have to release him a little earlier than planned. This parenting thing is certainly very nerve wracking. Poor Ben. Daddy's going to be a nervous wreck!

Jacks back

2008-04-02T13:43:00.000-07:00

Little baby Jack seems to be on the road to recovery and they have eliminated meningitis as the cause. However, they still don't know what it was and they are unable to test for it. So we will never know. His heartbeat went up to 22o bpm and his temperature was 108! The doctors were quite convinced that he wouldn't make it but it just shows how resilient babies can be. Of course they still need to keep a close eye on him over the next few weeks and certainly monitor him over the next few years to see if there is any damage done. The main thing is that he is on the recovery road and hopefully all will be well.
It just highlights the problems that can occur when you have kids. It is worrying. My brother had Ioan who had hydrocephallus followed by Toby who was born with club feet. Toby is now running around as if there was nothing wrong and seems to be very intelligent for his age. Ioan is coming along well although there is obviously some lasting damage from the Hydrocephallus which will always affect him. But again it helps to put a positive spin on the fact that whatever goes wrong all is not lost. The medical profession can do miracles these days and often do. And long may they continue to do so. I hope Ben doesn't give them a reason to though!!

Closer.

2008-03-28T15:25:00.000-07:00

Starting to get a little bit nervous now as the time passes and the imminent arrival of mine and Gill's combined genes draws nearer. A very romantic way of putting it but I've always had a romantic side and I don't mind revealing it. Another scan today has revealed that he hasn't grown over the past two weeks so Gill will have to spend a couple of hours over the weekend being monitored. This is just a precautionary exercise as there is a chance that the measurements on the previous scan may have been exaggerated a little bit for whatever reason. As you can see if you look very carefully, you can make out his face on the bottom one! Alien!! And he's still a boy. Apparently. So far the date for his release is the same but they are still concerned about how big he is getting so it could be sooner. If Gill's waters break then they will deliver sooner but they are happy that if this becomes the case that he has developed enough for it not to pose a problem. There are added complications. We went down to Brighton over easter to attend Gill's brother's wedding and stopped off at Oxford on the way back to see Gill's sister's new son who is about 5 weeks old. He was taken into hospital yesterday with suspected meningitis so we are just waiting for confirmation to see what effect that could have on us and Ben if any. Hopefully, little Jack will be fine as I believe his condition has improved since he went in and it's not nice to think of a little defenceless bundle like him suffering like that. We shall keep our fingers crossed. Being an atheist, that's about the best I can do.

Where have I been?!?

2008-03-04T13:34:00.000-08:00

It has been a while since my last entry. Things are going quite well with the pregnancy all things considered. Gill is injecting her insulin but Ben seems to be growing a bit bigger than he should. He is probably about 2 pounds heavier than he should be at the moment which is a concern in relation to when they will perform the caesarian. At the moment it will be on the 2nd of May (the day after my mother's birthday funnily enough) but if he gets too big then they may get him out a bit sooner. Apart from that they seem to be quite happy with his performance so far and are keeping a close eye on him. My compliments go to all of them up at the Blackpool Vic who have done a splendid job so far, fair play to them. We will be popping down to Brighton just before Easter to watch Gill's brother get married and to pick up a pram on the way back. I just hope there are plenty of toilets on the way down as no doubt Gill will want to stop at every single one.
I have been getting into magic tricks lately as I have discovered a good magic shop just down the road from where I currently live and after seeing some of the magic acts recently at the Winter Palace as well as the Junior World Championships it has spurred me on to learn some card tricks. I've already got a magic wand (well it worked on Gill! Geddit?).

It's a boy!! Or will be....

2007-12-29T14:06:00.000-08:00

The last scan on Friday has revealed that I am having a son. Gill has seen his willy and everything! A new level of voyeurism has been achieved it would seem. I am dead chuffed as I didn't really want to have to play with dolls and girlie stuff. No offence, but it just isn't me. Besides, boys toys are infinitely better than anything girls have and I wouldn't want my daughter growing up to be a tomboy because of my insistence on giving her boy toys. So now at least we know what colour to buy and I've been pricing up scale-extrics just in case. Gill also picked up a blood monitor to test her blood sugars ready for the next step of injecting and they will probably induce the birth after 36/38 weeks as the baby is growing fast and that's what they normally do with gestational diabetics.
According to his size, he is the equivalent of 24 weeks old but he's supposed to be 20/21. In the top picture it actually seems as if he is looking at you. Bit spooky that. The midwife had a job getting him to turn around (I told her he might be shy) but she got there in the end. It wasn't one of those vague images of what sex he is, it was pretty damn clear! Gill was a bit down about it being a boy as she wanted a girl and, to be honest, we had already chosen a name for her. Now we have to think properly of a boys name. Gill likes Ben, Jake or Oliver. I like Noah, Urien and Mohammed!!! It looks like Ben is the favourite at the moment. Incidentally, all this fuss about how the muslims considered it an insult to call a teddy mohammed (lower case m used on purpose) has caused Sooty to cancel his tour of Jamaica.! Geddit?

Nearly Christmas again!

2007-12-20T14:38:00.000-08:00

Yes, the usual where has the year gone scenario is approaching and I am pleased to say that I am all set for the big day. I love Christmas which is why I always use a capital letter. I hope they will do it again next year. The sprog will be about seven months old by then and playing with it's first scalextric and beating me before we go on to the mecchanno or lego depending on which one is spelt correctly. Next year is set to be a very interesting one indeed. The latest up date on the mother is that there is a very good chance that she will be diabetic after the birth as she has gestational diabetes at the moment at an earlier stage of her pregnancy than they would like to see it. This means that she will have to start injecting insulin to try and avoid the baby reaching 15 pounds in weight and having health problems. It also means that she is unlikely to have a natural birth which is worrying as recent research has indicated that caesarian births are nowhere near as good as the real thing and are likely to complicate the health in later life (or something). So there is a lot to think about and consider for the future. I never realised that becoming a parent could be so complicated or exciting all at the same time. But, no doubt, everything will turn out to be okay and I shall worry for no reason at all. Luckily, I don't have any hair to turn grey!

Travelling

2007-11-26T14:16:00.000-08:00

Here is a picture of the inside of Whitby Abbey, up in the north east. It is famous for being the landing place of Count Dracula which is really all I know about the place. I find this disappointing! I travelled a long way and paid a sum of money to get inside the place and never made the effort to learn about it. This is very sad and has made me realise how important it is to actually fully take notice of everywhere you visit. God knows if I will ever make it there again. I took some good photos as well with no information to back them up. Needless to say, a lesson has been learned. I am popping down south for a long weekend soon and I will certainly make more of an effort when I get there to actually learn something about wherever I go. But how many of us do this? Go and visit a place and come away none the wiser about it, only moaning about how much it cost or whether it was raining and cold. I'm sure I'm not the only one. And I won't allow it to happen again! What would my kid think?!?

Another scan

2007-11-12T13:50:00.000-08:00

Here are two black and whites of the results of a night of passion with Gill. Pretty good, eh? He or she moved around quite a lot during the scan and wouldn't really stay still to get a really good shot, like it was doing aerobics or something. But at least I managed to spot it a bit better this time. There is only one in there which is a relief as I'm a twin and so is Gill's mother and I have to confess that I was a little concerned that I would have to be thinking of two names instead of one. We still don't know what the sex is but the next scan is due on christmas eve and we hope that they will be able to tell us then. Should be nice before christmas. I am struggling with names at the moment. It is important to get the right one as the little tyke will be stuck with that handle for the rest of it's life. I'm welsh and part of me would like a welsh name but some of the would be difficult to pronounce (eg Llyr, Llifon etc) especially if I stay living in England. All suggestions greatly appreciated. I quite like the name Bethany if it's a girl as Bethan is a common name in Wales and it's still got that english feel to it. I've got plenty of time to think about it though as it isn't due to make an appearance until May.

Making improvements.

2007-11-06T13:51:00.000-08:00

Here is a more relaxing and scenic picture of a rock and the sea just to prove that I'm not just into the gory stuff. I am actually having fun trying to work out how to get all of these little bits onto the page and it is working so far. I haven't destroyed the network! All I need now is for some one to read it!

More things

2007-11-05T12:58:00.000-08:00

Had some more dates through for scans that I have been told to attend or else! I think the main reason for my being there is to pay for the pictures because I know nothing about the scans and find it even harder to see anything remotely resembling a baby in them. However, I have been assured that it does get easier as the baby takes shape. I'm actually looking forward to discovering what sex it will be so that I can either practice my football or improve my shopping techniques accordingly. As long as it is healthy. That's the main thing. Even if it's got two heads, as long as it's healthy it will be fine. As long as it's a boy. I don't know if I would be able to handle a daughter, especially when she gets to 16. I was 16 once and know what it's like and it's scary to think that she will be exposed to people like me and my hormones as they were at that age!

As you can see, the above picture has absolutely nothing to do with babies. It was taken at Chester Zoo recently and it was one of those moments that was too good to be true and one of the first pictures taken with my new digital SLR. Now that I know how to get them on to my blog, I hope to put some more on display.

Baby Scan

2007-11-02T15:08:00.000-07:00

There it is! My baby, somewhere there in the middle. You do have to use your imagination a little bit, but if you've ever seen one before you won't have too much trouble spotting it. Not sure who it takes after though.

oops

2007-11-02T14:30:00.000-07:00

Well, as with all my past attempts at keeping a diary, I have missed a few days. I'm a busy man, you see.
All is well with the next generation of me. Gill went to see the midwife who filled in some forms and took some blood samples and did the things that they do and then she went to see her consultant gynaecologist who was quite happy with everything, even to the point of being impressed with the size of the baby at this stage. He also wants her to try and have a natural birth and can't see any problems so far but he will have a better idea after the 20 week scan has been done.
So every day takes me closer to being a dad. But even so, I can't seem to get too excited in case things go wrong. I'll be a lot happier after the birth but then I shall no doubt start worrying about the kid's future etc. I've always considered myself an optimist and quite laid back and now I am the complete opposite with regards to parenthood. Is that normal? Is that how everybody feels? This is without doubt the most significant thing I have ever done in my entire life. It's understandable, I suppose, that I am inwardly panicking. Panicking always makes me seem to act cooler and more detached than normal. Fortunately, I don't have any hair to go grey!
I haven't stopped smoking yet but Gill is still going strong without her ciggies which is very impressive considering how much she used to smoke. I only hope that she will continue even after the birth. I have cut down a lot though. I've only got one pouch of baccy left and then I can stop properly.
Need to get back to Gill's knitting now.

Full of nits

2007-10-25T12:44:00.000-07:00

I know this will seem weird, being a bloke and all, but I am teaching my girlfriend to knit. My mum taught me and my two brothers to knit when we were young as something to do on those cold winter nights when we were stuck indoors with nothing to do. Back then there were no computers or playstations to muck about with so I suppose knitting was the obvious choice as far as my mother was concerned. I'm sure there was an element of rebelling against the system by getting us in touch with our feminine side at an early age as well as the possibility that instead of three boys she would have liked to have had a girl. I'm glad she didn't take up cross stitch until we were much, much older.
However, the knitting serves two purposes. It means that Gill will be able to make clothes and blankets and booties for the baby and it will keep her hands and mind occupied while she tries to stop smoking as well as keeping her quiet so that I can do the things that I want to do. So that's three purposes actually. Anyway, with a bit of luck the first blanket should be finished before it starts to get warm again. All she is doing is knitting squares which she can stitch together which is how I started. The only trouble is that I can't remember how to cast off but I'm confident that I will remember when the time comes. If not, I can always ask my mum.

2007-10-23T14:21:00.000-07:00

I have managed to convince Gill to give up smoking! She has had a prescription for nicorette chewing gums (must be mint flavoured it said) and she is going to start tomorrow. She has done this obviously for the benefit of the bump which means that I will have to make an effort and stop as well. But maybe not tomorrow. We recently brought 3400 fags back with us from Ibiza which would have lasted us several months and it looks like we will have to sell them now 'cos I ain't giving them away! Typical! Glad I didn't buy a Zippo lighter as that has a lifetime guarantee.
It's funny that new life is heading my way, given that my job as a funeral directors assistant means that I deal with the complete opposite every day. I have only been doing this job for about 3 months. Before this, I was a General Manager of a bingo hall. Not a lot of difference really apart from the smell. It used to be much worse in the bingo. And even after spending 11 years in the bingo industry I still cannot fathom why on earth anybody plays it. At least it paid my wages for a bit for which I will be eternally grateful.
Must remember to wash the ashtrays before I go to bed and hide the rest of the cigs. And maybe be a bit more pleasant in the morning before coffee.

Please be gentle, it's my first time!

2007-10-22T15:36:00.001-07:00

Helloooo.

My name is Mark and this is the first time I have ever blogged. A friend of mine is a regular blogger and, having lost touch a little, I have managed to keep up with what's going on in her life. I thought this would be a good idea for me so that maybe friends could keep up with what's going on in my life without me having to bore them personally. At least this way they can turn it off when they've had enough without offending me and I won't go on and on and on and on and risk copping a slap!

I am also going to be a Daddy in 7 months time all being well. My fiancee, Gill, is going through a high risk pregnancy so it will be a scary and exciting next few months. It will be my first child. I'm 39 years old, Gill is 37 -she won't mind me telling you- and she has been trying for 15 years to have kiddies. We have been going out for about 14 months and I have managed to do what IVF and other fertility treatments have failed to do. Needless to say, I'm pretty chuffed with myself! There is still a way to go though but this is my way of telling the world how happy I am and inviting friends as well as strangers a bit more into my life.

I also want to be a novellist (seeing as I'm already a great lover!) so what better way than to do this? I also need to stop smoking so that I can be around for my kid for as long as possible so this will give me something to do instead of inhaling cancer. And I will be spending more time in, (hence the title of the blog) so what better way than this to pass the time in between daddying!